Savlon On The Nipples

Chafing. Not a word that you hear bandied about a lot in modern times. Probably because clothing is a lot kinder to the skin nowadays than in times gone by.

Having spent 23 years in the Army I know a lot about chafing. Uniform back in 1972 when I joined was not exactly silky in nature I can assure you. More sack cloth than silk. Who could ever forget "Shirts Hairy"? Add to that carrying a couple of stone in wait around in your webbing and yes, I knew a lot about chafing.

Sorry but I digress. So what about "Savlon On The Nipples". Well nowadays I don't have to worry about the vagaries and discomfort of Army Haute Couture as I can choose to dress exactly how I like. That includes when I indulge in one of my passions. Running? Yep we are talking "Runners Nipple" here.

Most people would believe that affliction was something that was confined to the female of the species, and most probably they are the ones that suffer most but, as I have found to my cost, it is not exclusive to them. Out for a run on Sunday and it poured with rain all the way round. An hour soaked. Luckily, as my old Mum used to say, "You can't get wetter than your skin". Well that was certainly proven correct. As I ploughed around the streets of Skegness I have to confess that I pretty much enjoyed the experience of playing the drowned rat. Nothing too uncomfortable if a little chilly.
Got home and peeled off my running gear and that is when it struck. As I peeled off my Drifit material shirt, a name that does not live up to the inherent promise in this instance; Runners Nipple. Bright as the brightest cherries and stood to attention like the Guards on the Monarch's Parade. Apologies Ma'am for bringing you into something as vulgar as this!

Never suffered from this before. What to do? Man up and it will go away! That is the good masculine answer to everything isn't it? Well in this instance it could not have been a worse decision. Despite the smearing of vaseline on the offending items on the two runs that I have completed since Sunday, thank you to a lady running friend for the advice, no luck. Still little change to the double trouble.

So it is down to Savlon. Used it in the past on thighs, crotch (sorry!), shoulders, underarms and the back of the neck, all down of course to the 23 years in the Army, and it always did the trick there. Will it cure my present ills? I am not sure but I am sure you will be pleased to know that I will let you know! In the meantime. Don't worry I am still manning up!

Women's Magazines - Hate Them!

Now I have always had a thing about women's magazines. Full of flim-flam and celebrities and young lasses that look like stick insects, pretending that they don't diet and pretending that all women can look like that. It is just a world that us blokes do not understand.

A couple of examples of what I mean:

Dunno why I picked one in Russian!

But now I have found one that I am really, really not happy with!

My wife came home with this:

Now it looks innocent enough doesn't it? But oh no. Believe me it is really dangerous and insidious.

Women's Running. The operative word there is WOMEN'S! Not MEN'S but WOMEN'S. Why do I feel so strongly about this particular rag? Well let me just tell you.

My wife and I are into a bit of running. She is much more competent than me but then again she has the advantage of youth! In six weeks time we are going to be doing the Woodhall Spa 10k. A nice little jaunt in the Lincolnshire countryside thought I. Nowhere near as difficult as the Lincoln 10k that just about ended my stint on the earth. Nothing too strenuous. 

So what is the problem? Well I will tell you. In this blooming magazine is a Training Regime for Improvers! It is a regime that lasts for 6 weeks after which you do your next 10k. 6 weeks? You getting the picture? Oh yes WE not SHE are going to be taking advantage of this wonderful regime apparently! My protestations "That it is for women out of a women's magazine" are cutting no ice. Oh no. We are now both IMPROVERS! I look forward to the improvement!!!!

Bloody womens magazines. Hate them!

Done With Running - Well Running Has Done With Me!

After 8 months or so of trying to get back to running I reckon that it is a no-go! Right knee just does not seem to want to know anymore. Doesn't appear to be too much wrong with it, well not more than normal anyway, no swelling, just had enough I guess. Very painful if I try to run on it for any length of time. Looks like the end of an era. Not going down the surgery route as I have had enough of that for sure!

In the past I have run as much as 90 miles a week when in full flight and now I can't run 2 miles at a time. Running has always been my preferred fitness regime, as I find nearly all other exercise very boring. So what now? I can't go on as I am as my weight has reached over 15 and a half stone. Hate the thought of actually going on a diet as I have never had to do that before, other than a see-food diet, being able to see food and eat it!

Got to so something; but what?

Looks like it is going to be a whole load of gym work. Don't like the thought but that looks like the only option to me. Don't mind swimming but that doesn't appear to do my knee a whole lot of good either. That may be down to swimming when I have already tried the running, so I will give that another go as well.

What about the cricket? Will I manage that next season? Reckon the batting will be okay but as for the bowling, who knows? Is that enough to allow me to be selected? Only time will tell I guess.

As I say, I have to do something to get some fitness back if only for the good of my health. Not looking forward to the options left to me though!!! Cest La Vie.